Silly's Zexal Wiki:Stories/Don't Be A Baby

Silly brings in the mail.

Silly: Oh look, bills!

Silly puts the bills in a pile for Lily.

Silly: Oh look, Bill!

Bill Cipher: AHAHAHAHA

Silly puts Bill in the Lily pile. After much more sorting and giving all the junk to Lily, he comes down to the last piece of mail.

Silly: Oh boy, more Yu-Gi-Oh Manga Daily... wow, this one is really weird.

Lily: GIMME MY MANGA

yoink

Silly: Oooookay then. Well, time to do whatever I do when something weird or interesting happens!

I STOLE YOUR FRIES, AND YOUR SPAGHETTI, MESSED UP THE SONG, SOMETHING YU-GI-OH!

Silly: Okay, who messed with the song? >:|

SUE KAIBA NOW, SUE KAIBA NOW, TOUR DE FRANCE, FRENCH FRY SPAGHETTIIIIIIIIIIII!

Nosedive Kite Dude: Okay, what did you make this time...

Doc Stretchy Head: It's my greatest invention ever!

Grapey Hair: That's the third "greatest invention ever" this week.

Metal Box of Ugliness: Hey! Don't make fun of Doc Stretchy Head! He gives me free Pop-Tarts every time I stick up for him even though I don't really mean what I say.

Doc Stretchy Head: Well this is my REAL greatest invention ever! BEHOLD! The Doohicky-Ray-2000!

Grapey Hair: What does it do?

Doc Stretchy Head: I don't even know! :D

Nosedive Kite Dude facepalms.

Doc Stretchy Head: Now you kids get to push as many buttons as you want! What could possibly go wrong?!

Nosedive Kite Dude: How about everything?

Grapey Hair: Who cares? We get to push buttons!

Nosedive Kite Dude: Good point.

After lots of button pushing and laser beams being fired in various directions and a few walls being blown up, they get bored.

Grapey Hair: Well we didn't die and the machine is still intact so that's a good sign.

The machine collapses into a pile of parts.

Grapey Hair: ...oops

Nosedive Kite Dude: Hey, do you think we could've caused any issues somewhere?

Metal Box of Ugliness: The likelihood of that is only 78.29%. So probably.

Doc Stretchy Head: Oh well. WHO WANTS SPAGHETTI?!?!

At Ugly Hair Man's house...

Ugly Hair Man: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Spike N Scoop: Can you shut up already?

Ugly Hair Man: I can't help it... it's the big wedding ;-; HEY! WHAT'S THAT GUY DOING HERE? HE HAD HIS CHAN-

And suddenly Ugly Hair Man gets zapped by one of the laser beams.

Spike N Scoop: Well, I should probably be worried that a giant laser beam just shot through our window, but then again it got Ugly Hair Man to shut up so meh.

Ugly Hair Man: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spike N Scoop: ...why is he a baby? Well, I don't feel like dealing with this.

Spike N Scoop tosses Ugly Hair Man in a box and mails him to Whale's house.

Spike N Scoop: This is why I don't babysit.

At Whale's house...

DING DONG

Whale: Sup.

Sideways Sea-Life: YOUR MAIL WON'T STOP CRYING GET IT OFF ME

Sideways Sea-Life throws the Ugly Hair Man box at Whale's head and runs away as fast as he can.

Box: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Whale: What the heckle?

Penny: Oh look TT filter references :D

Tuna: Uhhhh... why is there a baby in the mail?

Whale: I dunno.

Whale opens the box and dumps the contents out on the floor.

Whale: AHHHHHHHHH!

Tuna: ...okay that's freaky.

Ugly Hair Man: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Whale: Actually, he's somehow less annoying than the regular Ugly Hair Man.

Tuna: So... what do we do with him?

Whale: I dunno. I gotta go to Skhool. Have fun!

Tuna: HEY!

Whale chickens out to go get ready for Skhool.

Tuna: Grr... eh, oh well.

Tuna tosses Ugly Hair Man into a closet.

Ugly Hair Man: OW! Hey!

Tuna: You're a baby. You're not allowed to talk.

Ugly Hair Man: Oh right. Sorry.

Tuna: Do you even pay attention to the script?

Ugly Hair Man: We have a script?

Tuna: Probably not.

Tuna shuts the closet door and gets ready for Skhool. A few hours later...

Doc Stretchy Head: I did it! I rebuilt the thingamabob of unknown purpose!

Nosedive Kite Dude: Is that the official name?

Doc Stretchy Head: Sure. So now it's the Thingamabob of Unknown Purpose™!

Grapey Hair: Wait, you trademarked it in the last three seconds?

Doc Stretchy Head: Yes. Don't ask. Anyway let's push more buttons and see what it does!

Back somewhere else and stuff, Whale is walking home from Skhool and gets zapped.

Whale: WAAAAAAAA

Tuna: ...

Tuna decides to play soccerWhale all the way home.

Whale: ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

Tuna: Well, I don't feel like dealing with this.

Tuna gets another box and tosses Whale into it, and throws Ugly Hair Man in it too and mails it to Stretchy Castle.

Metal Box of Ugliness: Greetings, mailman!

Sideways Sea-Life: HELP ME, ALL THE MAIL IS CRYING, I THINK I'VE LOST MY MARBLES!

Metal Box of Ugliness leaves and comes back with Doc Stretchy Head's prized marble collection.

Sideways Sea-Life: Um... thanks?

They trade the stuff and Metal Box of Ugliness goes back inside.

Nosedive Kite Dude: Hey, anything good?

Metal Box of Ugliness: Have a crying box.

Metal Box of Ugliness throws Cardboard Box of Babyness at Nosedive Kite Dude.

Nosedive Kite Dude: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Well, now I've seen everything.

Nosedive Kite Dude dumps Ugly Hair Man and Whale out on the floor.

Nosedive Kite Dude: Well, I'm not going to waste any of our food on these guys so it's time to run to the store I suppose.

fwoosh

Ice Cream Monster: Welcome to Zexal Grocery and all that good stuff! May I interest you in a Jony?

Ice Cream Monster points to a shelf with 10 Jonys on it.

Jony: Hey.

Nosedive Kite Dude: Umm... not really?

Ice Cream Monster: You get a free Webkinz with him.

Nosedive Kite Dude: DEAL.

10 minutes of shopping later...

Ice Cream Monster: That'll be 82 ZexalBucks. And here's your free Webkinz!

Ice Cream Monster dumps a shark Webkinz in Nosedive Kite Dude's cart.

Nosedive Kite Dude: WHY IS THIS SO EXPENSIVE

Nosedive Kite Dude pays anyway.

can we stop switching from place to place it's making me sick

no

oh ok

Nosedive Kite Dude: I'm back with stuff

Nosedive Kite Dude dumps everything he bought on the floor.

Jony: ow

Whale: SHARKY

Nosedive Kite Dude: HEY THAT'S MINE

Nosedive Kite Dude and Whale start fighting over the Webkinz while Ugly Hair Man watches and eats popcorn off the floor.

Whale: I chawenge you to a duew

Nosedive Kite Dude: Are we really doing this?

DUEL! Nosedive Kite Dude VS. Whale

Nosedive Kite Dude: I guess so.

Turn 1 - Nosedive Kite Dude (4000) vs. Whale (4000)

Nosedive Kite Dude: I summon the Kite-Eating Tree!

Kite-Eating Tree: *crunch crunch*

Nosedive Kite Dude: If you think about it too hard, this is actually kinda weird, but I'm really only named after kite so- HEY!

Whale: Sowwy you were talking too much so I destwoyed your monstaw with Numbaw 99: The Jaws of Not Life. Also while you were at the stow I matuwed enough to talk.

Silly: This is going to be so annoying to read later :D

Will: Tell me about it.

Penny: I think you might be driving Lily insane... again...

Lily: LETS PLAY GO FISH!!!!!!!1111!!!11111!!!!1

Jony: We should make him eat the stringy things off of some bananas

Will: ...what?

Jony: idk

Nosedive Kite Dude: Can we get back to the story now?

Silly: I guess.

Turn 2 - Nosedive Kite Dude (3600) vs. Whale (4000)

Nosedive Kite Dude: I place a card facedown but you don't get to know what it does because that's the point of how it works

Ugly Hair Man: Oh it's getting confusing now

Whale: I summon Cwassy Shark

Classy Shark: *sips tea*

Whale: Now ATTACK!

Nosedive Kite Dude: Actually you activated my trap, Kite Shield, which forces me to explain the card in detail because of reasons. Anyway you get half of the damage dealt back to you.

Whale: awwwwwwwwwwww

Turn 3 - Nosedive Kite Dude (3600) vs. Whale (3500)

Nosedive Kite Dude: I summon Metal Box of Ugliness in attack mode!

Metal Box of Ugliness: Hey, I'm not a duel monster!

Nosedive Kite Dude: Too bad, destroy the shark.

Metal Box of Ugliness: Uh... uh... CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGE

Metal Box of Ugliness transforms into battle mode but gets eaten by Classy Shark.

Whale: ...destwoy him.

Nosedive Kite Dude: AHHHHHHHHHH

Turn 4 - Nosedive Kite Dude (2600) vs. Whale (3500)

Nosedive Kite Dude: I summon Jony I guess?

Jony: Hey what's going on

Jony gets eaten by Classy Shark.

Nosedive Kite Dude: WHOA WHOA WHOA! Are we even allowed to show that? I mean, the robot, maybe, but that's just... no.

Jony: I feel like I'm wearing a Halloween costume.

Jony forces Classy Shark to dance around.

Whale: Well then. Attack!

Jony: 360 NOSCOOOOOOOOOOOOPE

Nosedive Kite Dude: Is this even real anymore?

Turn 5 - Nosedive Kite Dude (1600) vs. Whale (3500)

Nosedive Kite Dude: We'll see who's British... I SUMMON GALAXY EYES!

Galaxy Eyes: How did I get trapped in the card again?!

insert cartoon pow effect here

Whale: Now they're dead. Gweat job.

Turn 6 - Nosedive Kite Dude (1600) vs. Whale (3400)

Nosedive Kite Dude: Nosedive time!

Whale: Eh I'm just gonna use The Jaws of Not Life

Nosedive Kite Dude: ow

Turn 7 - Nosedive Kite Dude (600) vs. Whale (2900)

Whale: Bye

Nosedive Kite Dude: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WINNER: Whale

Whale: YAY WEBKINZ

Nosedive Kite Dude: I'm telling dad >:(

Jony: Well uh... bye.

Classy Shark disappears because the duel is over.

Jony: Aww...

Nosedive Kite Dude: DAAAAAAAAAAD WHALE STOLE MY WEB-

Nosedive Kite Dude gets zapped by the Thingamabob of Unknown Purpose™.

Nosedive Kite Dude: Well great, now I'm like 5 years old.

Doc Stretchy Head: Oops?

Nosedive Kite Dude: What was this thing ever supposed to do anyway?

Doc Stretchy Head: I dunno, but it looks cool.

Nosedive Kite Dude: Can you change us all back?

Doc Stretchy Head: Nope, I'm not even sure how it works! So you're probably all doomed until the next episode and then it's like nothing ever happened.

Downsizer Grunt: Hi. We're taking this now.

A bunch of Downsizer Grunts pick up the Thingamabob of Unknown Purpose™ and carry it away.

Doc Stretchy Head: NOOOOOO MY GREATEST INVENTION EVER

5 minutes later...

Doc Stretchy Head: It's my greatest invention ever!

Grapey Hair: That's a toaster, dad.

Doc Stretchy Head: I need to go cry somewhere. Bye.

Meanwhile in Iceland because, you know, why not?

Awkward Iceman: I'm so glad I was on vacation during this episode. Ugly Hair Man as a baby would be the worst thing ever.

Suddenly a portal appears and Awkward Iceman gets pulled into it.

Awkward Iceman: WHOA

Awkward Iceman gets tossed out of Downsized Downsizer of Downsizeness' weird test tube thing.

Downsized Downsizer of Downsizeness: Uh... um... erm... uh... you saw nothing.

Downsized Downsizer of Downsizeness pushes a button and zaps Awkward Iceman with the Thingamabob of Unknown Purpose™.

Awkward Iceman: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Downsized Downsizer of Downsizeness: Ow, ow, my audio sensors, ow, ow, ow, GRUNTS

A Downsizer Grunt picks up Awkward Iceman and mails him to Ugly Hair Man's house.

Lily: I NEED THAT CARD TO RECLAIM MY MEMORIES!!!1111!!!!!1!!!1!11111111!!!!!!!!!

THE END